Last Saturday

My Grandma at Our Wedding

Over the course of 2 months (including my honeymoon) I knit the Hanging Garden Stole by Sivia Harding. I don't think I need to mention how in love I was with this project, given how many times I mentioned it in blog posts and on the podcast-- hand-beaded, knit with Woolen Rabbit lace in the Scottish Heather colorway... it was a labor of love, as these things usually are.
I vowed this was mine. No one was going to take it away from me, no matter how much they begged or pleaded.

This weekend was my niece's 3rd birthday party (actually, she's my cousin by blood but her mom insists on referring to me and Dennis as her aunt and uncle, and we're just fine with that) Anywho, most of my side of the family was there and it was a lovely time despite the weather being overcast and slightly chilly. So naturally, I tagged along my Hanging Garden just in case.

When I finally caught a chill and took it out, of course my mom immediately tried to abduct it!-- as she does with most of my knitted shawls. Over the years, I've given her several shawls and have yet to see her wear one. This time I wised-up. No. Not my Hanging Garden. I love my mom, but this was mine! MINE!

Later my grandmother complained that she was very cold-- of course I let her borrow my shawl. I repeated in my mind, "Borrow!" Regardless, the woman was incredibly grateful and more importantly, warm!

When it was time to leave the party, my Grandmother tried giving the shawl back to me... but I could tell she was reluctant. Naturally, I was already a few glasses of wine in and was feeling very generous. But I could tell she really loved it. It even matched her ensemble. I threw my hand down and told her she could keep it. My Grandmother insisted, "No! It's yours... I don't want to take it away from you."
"Do you like it?" I replied?
"Ja! It's beautiful!"
"Keep it. I want you to have it"

Only when the chardonnay wore off did the reality of what I did sink in. I gave my favorite shawl to my Grandmother! Am I kicking myself? Kind of. Sort of. YES. But I don't regret it. My Grandmother hasn't been in the best of spirits lately. She's led a hard life. She's getting older. Things hurt. She's always cold. I just loved seeing how happy it made her. I couldn't say "No."

I won't lie. These past few days I've asked myself over and over-- "Why did I do that?!"
But I just tell myself, "It's well-loved... and I can always knit another." I only wish I remembered to take a photo of her wearing it. *sigh*